There are decisions that shift the course of our lives. Some are big—like relocating to a new country, changing careers, or starting a business. Others are quiet, almost invisible to the outside world. For me, the most powerful decision I ever made wasn’t about money, work, or moving to a new place.
It was this: I murdered my low self-esteem and insecurity.
Yes, murdered. I didn’t just ignore it, I didn’t just suppress it—I made a choice to kill it off and bury it so that I could rise into the person I was meant to be. That was back in 2016, and looking back now, I can boldly say it was the turning point of my life.
2016: The Year I Started Fighting Back
At the time, I was the kind of person who second-guessed everything. I would overthink before speaking, doubt my ideas, and constantly measure myself against others. My voice was soft, my confidence was shaky, and deep down I was afraid of being “not enough.”
But something in me was tired of living small. I didn’t want to keep carrying insecurity like it was my identity. So, I started small. Very small.
- I learned how to drive.
- I started taking online courses.
- I practiced writing more.
- And—this was funny but effective—I began talking to myself in the mirror.
At first, it felt silly. Who stands in front of the mirror pep-talking themselves? But that daily practice forced me to look myself in the eye and confront the person I had been running from—me.
The more I did it, the more comfortable I became with my own reflection. And slowly, my self-esteem started building muscles.
The Ongoing Battle With Stage Fright
Now, let’s be real. Growth is not a straight line. Even after years of practice, I still have stage fright. My heart pounds when I’m about to speak in front of a group. My palms sweat. Sometimes I even forget the first line of what I planned to say.
But here’s the breakthrough: once I open my mouth and start talking, I forget all about my stage fright. It melts away, and I flow. It’s almost like there are two versions of me—one afraid to start, and one unstoppable once I do.
That’s the beauty of killing insecurity: it doesn’t mean you’ll never feel fear again. It means fear no longer has the power to silence you.
How My Confidence Journey Shaped My Career
Looking back now, that decision in 2016 was the foundation of everything I’ve done since then.
- Writing: I wouldn’t have written half of the articles, posts, or even books I’ve shared today if I hadn’t started with those mirror talks. Writing demands courage—the courage to put your thoughts into the world without knowing how people will receive them.
- Networking: Confidence gave me the boldness to reach out, connect, and build relationships that shaped my journey. Without it, I’d still be hiding in the background.
- Design & Creativity: As a creative, ideas are your currency. But when insecurity is loud, it convinces you your ideas aren’t good enough. Confidence silenced that noise so my creativity could breathe.
- Public Speaking: I still get nervous, but because I’ve practiced, I can now stand before people and deliver without crumbling.
Lessons I Learned Along The Way
Here are some of the most important lessons from killing my insecurity:
- Confidence is a decision before it becomes a feeling.
People often wait until they “feel confident” before they act. The truth is, you build confidence by doing the thing while still scared. - Small steps compound into big growth.
Learning to drive may not look connected to personal growth, but it taught me discipline and gave me a sense of independence. Online courses expanded my mind. Writing gave me a voice. All the little steps built the stronger me. - Mirror talks work.
It sounds awkward, but speaking affirmations and practicing eye contact with yourself trains your brain to see yourself differently. Try it—you might be surprised. - Stage fright is not the enemy. Silence is.
It’s okay to feel nervous. What matters is refusing to let nervousness shut you up. Once you begin, you’ll often realize you’re more capable than fear suggests. - The inner critic must die for the inner leader to rise.
Self-doubt can be so loud it drowns your potential. Once I silenced mine, opportunities began to show up that I never would have had the courage to take before.
Why You Need To Murder Insecurity Too
The truth is, everyone battles with self-esteem at some point. Even the most successful people sometimes wrestle with impostor syndrome. The difference is in how they respond.
If you let insecurity live, it will rob you. It will rob you of speaking up in meetings, of asking for opportunities, of launching that idea, of connecting with people who could change your career.
But if you decide to kill it—intentionally and consistently—you open the door to a fuller version of yourself.
Practical Tips To Start Your Own Journey
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem right now, here are some things that helped me and might help you:
- Take one bold step this week. Apply for that role, send that message, volunteer to speak up once in your next meeting.
- Invest in learning. Online courses are everywhere now. Choose one that aligns with your career goals and commit to completing it.
- Write something. Even if it’s just a LinkedIn post, practice putting your voice out there.
- Talk to the mirror. Don’t underestimate this. Look yourself in the eye and speak the version of you that you want to become.
- Celebrate small wins. Every time you push past fear, no matter how small, celebrate it. Growth deserves recognition.
My Message To You
It’s been almost a decade since I made that decision in 2016. And every single achievement I have today traces back to the moment I chose to stop living under insecurity’s shadow.
The best decision I ever made was murdering my low self-esteem.
If you’re reading this and insecurity has been holding you back, maybe it’s time for you too. Not tomorrow. Not next year. But today.
Because the world doesn’t need a watered-down version of you. The world needs the bold, confident, and capable version of you—the one that has been waiting all along to be set free.
💬 Your Turn:
Have you ever had to battle low self-esteem? What steps did you take that made a difference? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
✨ About the Author
I’m Adanne Udejiofor Chukwudi, a Creative & Digital Specialist passionate about writing, design, and storytelling. Through my work, I help people and brands find their voice, build confidence, and create impact.
